


Hell Bent

by ya_girl_Lorelai



Category: Original - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Adventure, Angels, Death, Demons, Exploration, Fighting, Gen, Ghosts, Gore, Hell, Magic, Masturbation, Monsters, Necromancy, Politics, Prostitution, Torture, Underworld, Violence, necromancer - Freeform, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:57:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ya_girl_Lorelai/pseuds/ya_girl_Lorelai
Summary: Celestino Espinoza, a poor boy working at a restaurant, gets the offer of a life time from a mysterious man who comes in to eat one day. What follows is his descent into the underworld, magic, and afterlife politics.





	1. Ordinary Life

Celestino Espinoza finished his shift at Apple Bee's feeling horribly dejected. He had nearly made it through the entire day without being touched by anyone in the restaurant. This was primarily due to the fact that Thursdays at the restaurant weren’t particularly busy, but any day he could avoid undue stress was a day to be celebrated. Things had gone sour about an hour and a half before he got off, when the My Little Pony kid he had tried to befriend had grabbed and shaken him in a moment of autistic anger. Celestino had been clearing a table, and had been putting the dirty dishes into the kitchen to be cleaned when MLP dude got angry he had taken a second more than expected. He had once again threatened to hit him, and pulled his fist back to demonstrate. The kid lunged at Celestino, but instead of hitting him, he just grabbed him roughly instead. Celestino had been about ready to commit the assault that MLP dude had threatened with, but had decided to field the complaint tomorrow with his boss, who was out today. This would not stand. 

Celestino opened the door of the restaurant and stepped out into the night. He wanted to find a little peace, but was met with the sound of cars passing quickly on the street besides ABs. Was a movie he wanted to see playing? He decided he wasn’t quite up for that tonight. Celestino walked to his car, and then was further distressed to see that someone had fucked with his windows a THIRD time. There were no other things on the car that he could see besides this, but this was enough. Why was the world so out to get him? What did he ever do to deserve this constant bad fortune? Now he was going to have to spend about twenty minutes fixing his mirrors before he could leave. He sat down in his car seat, and briefly rested his face against the steering wheel. 

Leaning back, he looked at where the mirrors were angled and tried to picture what exact ways to move them that could cause him the most comfort in driving in the future. The left mirror needed to be tilted more towards him, and the mirror on the passenger side of the car needed to face more outward. With these things in mind, he stepped out of his car and moved the mirrors to where he guessed they needed to go. Back into the car. He checked again. The mirror on his left was outright perfect. The mirror on the right was a disaster. It was almost worse off than where it had started. He got out again and adjusted it. Sat back down. Out and adjusted again. This pattern continued about eight times before Celestino was satisfied with the state of his vehicle. So frustrating. Who would even do this?

Celestino was too irritated to drive, so he opened up his phone. Of course, there was a text from Lorelai. And one from Enzian. And the group chats were active. He opened the message from Enzian first. There was some massive rant about issues in his relationship with Luna from about five o'clock. Then a text saying nevermind, things were resolved. And then some weird porn that he had undoubtedly jerked off to and felt the need to share. Why were relationships so difficult? The drama and problems and distress seemed almost never ending. He didn’t know how some of his friends dealt with it, or why they even bothered to deal with it in the first place. Overall, Enzian’s relationship with Luna was good for him but he couldn’t say the same thing about a lot of his other friends. 

He opened the group chat next. Hena was begging for someone to hang out with her again. Laura had made a brief appearance in the chat, talking about her dog. Renee was talking about considering switching majors. Nothing new, really. He had nothing to contribute to the current conversation so he closed the chat. While he had been checking the WV chat, the drugs chat had become active. Jared and Morgan were talking about considering getting some mushrooms, trying to see if anyone else wanted to go in. Celestino made a joke offer about possibly wanting to buy a whole field full. He didn’t bother to check the responses, closed the chat. One last notification from Lorelai. 

Lorelai had sent him a bunch of picture of a bug she had found, asking if she should pick the mysterious beetle up. This too was around five. About five minutes after that, she must have gotten over her initial conservative attitude towards the beetle, and had picked the insect up. Then the pictures. And then five minutes after those, something about having been bitten by it and how distressed she was at what had happened to her. Celestino stifled a laugh. He messaged that maybe if she hadn’t just picked up a mystery beetle, then nothing bad would have happened to her. 

And with that little bit of levity, Celestino turned the keys in the ignition and took off towards his house. He wanted to jerk off, take a shower, and relax with something on Netflix. And then he would probably jerk off again. 

Celestino pulled into his driveway in the small, poor town to the east of West Valence and immediately heard his parents shouting in his house. His dad sounded drunk, and his mother sounded even drunker than that. He backed out of the driveway, hoping that he hadn’t been noticed by his parents. He texted Gavin asking where he was. His brother responded quickly that he was at his grandparents, and that if Celestino wanted to stay over there for the night that he was welcome to. Given that Celestino didn’t really want to deal with the stress of his parents, he headed over to where Gavin was. 

Once Celestino had arrived at his grandparents’ house, he saw that Lorelai had sent him a message asking if they could hang out. Celestino responded jokingly saying he didn’t want to contract some sort of beetle disease from her, and was at his grandmother’s for the night. She would know what that meant. She responded shortly, and somewhat sadly. She was always so disappointed whenever he was busy, and it was such an imposition. Lorelai would just have to deal with it because there wasn’t much he could or wanted to do about it at the present moment. Besides, it wasn’t like she couldn’t just go hang out with Alice or someone else for the night if she was actually lonely and in need of company. Celestino stepped out of the car, and walked up to the front porch. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. He went and checked on Gavin, seeing that he was in the middle of playing video games he decided he wouldn’t bother him again. Celestino tossed his dirty and smelly clothes in the corner of the room he usually occupied when he stayed with his grandma, and then grabbed a towel. Once the towel was wrapped around his waist he took off his boxers and headed to the shower. 

Celestino didn’t normally jerk off in the shower, but he hadn’t wanted to spend a second longer unwashed, and he couldn’t waste water taking another one later on. So in the shower it was. The picture that Enzian had sent him earlier had actually been a little hot instead of just weird, so he thought about that. Once he had busted a nut, he sat down on the shower floor and let the hot water run unmitigated down his sharp face. He couldn’t stay in the water indefinitely, and he didn’t know if his brother had taken one yet. But surely he could spare just a few minutes more. He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply, as the thought of MLP dude touching him had crossed his mind. What a fucking jerk. He was going to REMEMBER this for the future. He had been nothing but nice to this autist, and now it seemed that this kid wanted to cause him problems for literally no reason at all. Celestino spent longer ruminating on this kid than he cared to admit, and by the time his anger had slightly abated the hot water had run out. He stood up, quickly, and got out of the shower. He grabbed the towel he had wrapped around his waist earlier and dried himself off. 

He went to his room and then grabbed the pajamas that he had kept in the drawer for years. Since his trips to his grandparents were sometimes unexpected, he always kept a set or two of clothes there. This forethought had paid off on more than one occasion. Once his pajama situation was set, he grabbed his phone and opened messages again. Nothing from Enzian, in fact he had been left on seen. And as annoying as that was, Enzian had proceeded to be VERY active in the group chat. He opened a message from Lorelai, closed it without responding. He tossed his phone aside and turned on the television. Netflix opened, he returned to watching a show that he was in the middle of. 

While Celestino had MEANT to try to get a decent amount of sleep, of course it never actually panned out into reality. He had wanted at least six hours as he had to work, but then didn’t feel tired when that self imposed bedtime rolled around. He watched another episode and another. By that point, he definitely should have gone to bed but he had only three more episodes left, it was getting intense, why stop then? He watched the episodes, finished the series. Although the show had been good up till the very end, the finale seemed rushed and left a lot to desire. Once again, Celestino was unsatisfied. He opened his phone, and searched for discussion boards about it. Other people didn’t seem to share his opinion on it. They thought it was great. Disgusted, Celestino set his alarm to wake up in three hours and then went to bed, right after he jerked off a second time. 

The next day, Celestino went back to work. He had planned to tell his boss about the incident but his boss was out for one more day, apparently. He worked in silent anger. MLP dude tried to approach him, but Celestino wasn’t having any of it. Since it was a Friday, the restaurant was very busy and he had all the excuses in the world not to talk to the kid. Unlike yesterday, he got touched within the first twenty minutes of the shift and had to just go with it for the rest of the day. The only light in his world of darkness was that James made him something small to eat as he had forgotten to bring dinner with him.

Work finally ended, and Celestino rushed out of the business. He had to hurry, or MLP kid would be able to corner him and he still had zero interest in dealing with that. Celestino got into his car, threw it in reverse, backed out quickly and… CRUNCH. He had managed to back the car his grandmother had lent him while his was being fixed into a light post. He pulled forward quickly and then almost hit the car in front of him. Celestino parked the car and got out to examine the damage. The right tail light had been knocked out. He cursed out loud. Why did bad things always seem to happen to him. He didn’t want to buy a new one, meaning he would have to tell Enzian about it, who already thought he was a shit driver, and then they would have to go to a junkyard for a replacement. He wondered if Lorelai still had the red tape she had used to repair her car. He hoped his grandmother wasn’t going to notice. He sighed. She was always so perceptive. She probably would. He decided still that he wouldn’t tell her, just in case.

When Celestino stopped examining the back of his car, he noticed that the MLP kid had been screaming at him something for the last few minutes or so. The kid was rapidly approaching him. Now even less so than earlier, Celestino wanted to not have that confrontation. He got into his car and locked the doors. The MLP kid was too inept to realize he was being avoided, and started banging on the windshield, trying to get Celestino exit the vehicle. His boss was DEFINITELY going to hear about this antisocial mother fucker. Who would do something like this?

Celestino slowly backed out while this kid would not stop fucking with his car. Finally, he managed to get slightly away, and then he threw his car into drive and sped into the road. This time, he was more careful not to hit light posts. Or anything else, for that matter. What a shitty day. He broke the speed limit to get home, and managed to finally pull into his grandmother’s house. He didn’t get out of the car. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wanted to be alone. Things were getting to be way too much for him. People kept touching him. Shitty things kept happening to his car. His anxiety was peaking. He breathed heavily and finally managed to open his phone. Although he didn’t want to talk to anyone, he had to message Enzian about the car situation as soon as possible. He did, and ignored all other messages. He set his phone down on the seat next to him and stared into the sky. 

The corner of his vision erupted with light when suddenly he seemed to receive eight notifications at once. He couldn’t resist the new distraction, and opened the phone. What the fuck. The MLP kid was sending him wall of text after wall of text. Celestino literally could not deal with this. He got out of the car, turned off his phone, and entered the house. He didn’t bother to check his brother, he took off his clothes and took twenty minute long shower. He was so stressed it didn’t help. He got out of the shower, got into pajamas, and laid in bed. He still couldn’t sleep. Netflix or any other stimulus was too much at that moment. Celestino blocked all thoughts from his head and pressed his face deeper into the pillow. He didn’t want to die, ever, but things needed to change. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life like this.


	2. A Surreal Invitation

Celestino must have fallen asleep at SOME point during his attempt to shut the world out, because he woke up around two the next day. Luckily, he didn’t need to work until four so his forgetting to turn on an alarm for himself hadn’t resulted in any personal consequences. He was feeling a little more relaxed, and turned on his phone. He was going to have to check the messages from MLP dude at some point. Why not now? 

The phone took longer than usual to turn on, and then he saw that there were forty messages from the kid. MLP dude wasn’t working until Monday, it was Saturday. Maybe he didn’t need to check the messages right now. Maybe they could wait. He did want to see if Enzian had sent him anything at all. And he figured Lorelai was going to get pissy if her messages were not answered. He opened messenger after relogging back in. Every time his phone turned off he had to fucking relog in. So annoying. Who would implement that feature? Enzian had returned his messages with a list of a few times he would be free to go to the junkyard. And. Lorelai hadn’t sent him anything at all. That was a little out of character. Celestino opened their conversation and saw she hadn’t been active in the last twenty hours. Maybe she just did not had computer access? Anyways, he sent her a brief message about the details about the MLP dude. She would find it funny. 

He got into his clothes, and headed to Apple Bee's. Maybe the universe was making up for his shit Friday, because even though Saturday’s were usually really busy there was practically no one there. And since he was the only busser, he wasn’t going to be asked to go home. He also managed to avoid being touched the entire day. Lorelai had eventually responded, and Enzian and him scheduled a day to go and get the light. He hadn’t seen Enzian in two weeks and was very happy that they would be hanging out soon. On top of all that, his boss was indeed in that day. When there were only three people in AB’s, he asked a waiter friend if they could cover him while he approached his boss, who he told the situation to. 

Apple Bee's did pick up a little just an hour before closing, which was a little stressful. Especially because one of the customers took offense to him for some reason, and he could hear the person muttering something under his breath. The guy looked really disgusting, his hair was matted. His clothes were covered in grime of some variety. Celestino dreaded having to touch gross dude’s plates and silverware. He would have to wash his hands with literally all soap in the entire world later on. Or shower in bleach. Other than that downer of a way to end the day, Celestino left that night relatively pleased. He and Enzian were also going to play games together that night which was something to look forward to. 

Sunday at Apple Bee's was a million times worse than Friday had been. Saturday was the calm before the storm. Three other bussers had been scheduled with him. However, two of them had called off and the one who didn’t was the shittiest employee of the ENTIRE restaurant. The people inside were ornery. His boss was upset with literally everyone. Celestino dropped a plate and then had to clean everything up while people waited for tables that were covered in the remains of old white people's dinners. Celestino got touched repeatedly. He wanted to scream. His breaks were cancelled due to business, and who the hell knew what it was but no one was tipping. What an awful day. The only way it could have been worse was if MLP kid had had another mental breakdown against him.

Celestino left AB’s two hours after his scheduled end. He was pissed. How could the day get any worse? The man from yesterday, the one with the matted hair, the gross face, and who had smelled disgusting was sitting on the back of Celestino’s car. He had left his pepper spray inside of the vehicle, and so he had zero defense against this lunatic. He thought about calling the police. But sitting on someone’s car wasn’t illegal, and the police would probably take forever to come and help him. He was going to have to deal with this problem on his own. 

“Uh, excuse me sir?” Celestino called out, across the parking lot. He was still standing on the doorstep of Apple Bee's. He didn’t want to approach the homeless man.

“Hello,” the dude replied with the voice of nightmares. It was high pitched and reedy, almost sing song. A little disturbing, honestly. Like something out of a horror movie about demons, and he was the unfortunate mortal man who was about to get his body jacked. 

“I’m going to need you to get off my car.” Celestino tried to muster all the strength that he was able to. 

“Why would that be.”

“I don’t want some guy I don’t know sitting on my car.” And with that, Celestino breathed a sigh of relief as the man seemed to listen to him. Maybe that reason had been enough to get the dude to fuck off. His celebratory sigh was uncalled for, though, as the man began to approach Celestino. Celestino couldn’t get back into the building so he began to shift sideways against the wall of the restaurant. Celestino turned when he reached the corner and moved quickly away. “Stop following me or I am going to call the police!”

“Oh, but you won’t. I know that you won’t.” He snapped his fingers. “Didn’t you know that your phone is dead?” He laughed lightly. 

“I will attack you.” Celestino kept moving away from the man, moving backwards so to keep the guy in his line of sight. “Like, I’ve taken self defense classes.”

“We both know that that’s a lie.” He smiled again, revealing sharp teeth. They looked very nearly inhuman. “Watch yourself, Celes. Or you’re going to hurt yourself on the wall behind you.”

Celestino was about to demand to know how the guy knew his name, when his head struck the wall behind him. His thoughts became scattered, light filled his vision, and he slid to the ground. He felt like he was going to pass out. The man had him corned now. There was nothing he could do. “What do you want?” He managed to choke out, fearful with tears threatened in his voice. 

“I would like to make you an offer.” The man said. 

“I don’t think I’m interested.”

“Oh but I know you are. I’ve sensed you for a while now. And the time is now or never.”

“I’m really not interested in anything you can possibly give me. Plus, you sound like a demon right now.”

“I’m not a demon. Maybe some people would think I was kind of close though. Celestino, you’ve always dreamed of something incredibly interesting happening to you. Like something out of a book. I can tell. And I’m here to possibly grant you that. All you need to do,” he paused, “is take my hand.” The man extended his disgusting hand out towards him. 

“I’m not interested. You’re crazy. Get away or I’m going to scream.”

“I thought you might say that. You’re mistaken to turn this down. You have a week to accept my offer. Just desire to see me and I’ll meet you, wherever you are. And, Lorelai is texting you. She wants to hang out. Maybe you should see her.”

Celestino watched in horror as the man walked away. He seemed to fade into the line of trees across the parking lot just before he would have touched him. How did he manage to kill his phone battery? How did he know his name? Did the man actually have some sort of way to introduce Celestino into a world of adventure? How did he know who Lorelai was? Or that she spammed him with invitations constantly?

All of those questions plagued him, as he managed to stand up. His head was still in extreme pain. He was going to have to wait before he started driving. He turned the ignition, plugged in his phone, and waited for it to charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a like and a comment!


	3. Drugs or Insanity?

Celestino impatiently waited for his phone to turn on. It seemed to take longer than usual to charge, even using a car charger. He was so upset. What a bizarre encounter with someone. Or. Something. He was shook and his head hurt. He could hardly think straight. 

The whole adventure thing the dude was spewing had to be complete shit. Some sort of fabrication. The man was PROBABLY on drugs or something. That’s what the “world of adventure” was. Probably just drug use. Celestino was thinking of all the ways what the man said had to be made up, false, untrue, complete and utter garbage. Maybe the guy was crazy? Had he finally discovered the person who had been fucking with his car? He seemed to be able to tell which one was Celestino’s, despite it not being his usual vehicle. He also had known Celestino’s name. He seemed to know who Lorelai was, and roughly what their texting relationship was like. Maybe he was some deranged grindr stalker? Celestino had had stalkers in the past. It wasn’t completely unprecedented. Maybe that’s who the guy was. Someone who’s message he had ignored on grindr, the guy had developed an obsession, and then had watched him from the shadows enough to know his name and his friends and some of his interests. Mystery solved?

But part of him, of course, was busy running away with what the man had said. Of course Celestino wanted to go on some sort of life changing adventure which would confirm what he had always thought of himself -- that he was special and cut for something different than normal, standard day to day life. The child story book part of him was imagining alternative worlds, an adventure through the cosmos, magic, mysteries. If it showed up in cheap teenage literature, he was probably considering it a possibility. This same childish part of him was trying to make all mystery guy’s actions out to be something extraordinary. Like, the fact that his voice was so weird. Or the way the man seemed to disappear right before he had reached the line of trees. If the man had gone through them, he would have had to push branches aside to get into the small forest, and Celestino would have almost certainly heard the noises it made 

The rational and realistic part of him was trying to shut the above thoughts down. There was no such thing as magic. And likely someone else, like Alice, would be much more qualified and a target of a mystical being to go on an adventure. But that didn’t matter, it wasn’t even a question, once one considered that storybook adventures weren’t real. Why was part of himself so deluded? Once again, Celestino returned to the thoughts that the man must have been some sort of internet weirdo with a fixation. It was possible that the man had come to AB’s many times and had watched Celestino frequently. Stalker was probably the right way to describe the guy. Not magical at all. Just weird. 

Celestino’s internal debate raged on and on as his phone rebooted slowly. A small light had finally appeared on the screen. Now it was going to take just a minute or two more before his phone would turn on. He would message Lorelai and Enzian about the issue at hand. He had to vent about it. He had to let other people know, because it was possible that he was going to be in danger. His schedule and whereabouts were predictable to a degree. And now he was going to have to look out for another weirdo in his life. As if MLP dude wasn’t ALREADY enough. 

Finally, the phone was on. He had indeed received many more messages from people. Including Lorelai, Enzian, and another fifteen from MLP guy. Once again, he didn’t bother to open the messages from MLP guy. Before, he had been a formidable opponent in Celestino’s life. After an encounter with a schizo homeless dude, Celestino realized that MLP was a low level enemy at BEST. 

Enzian had sent him some meme after having left him on read for a day. Celestino left Enzian on read this time. He opened his texts from Lorelai. 

Lorelai Westfall: Hey  
Lorelai Westfall: It’s been a shitty day  
Lorelai Westfall: What are you doing tonight?  
Lorelai Westfall: I mean after worl  
Lorelai Westfall: work  
Celestino Espinoza: I literally just had the most horrific experience of my life  
Lorelai Westfall: oh god what happened this time  
Lorelai Westfall: did mlp dude assault you again?  
Celestino Espinoza: No I wish tho  
Lorelai Westfall: Oh that sounds really bad  
Lorelai Westfall: lmao  
Lorelai Westfall: What happened

 

Celestino began typing up the whole ordeal and then closed the app for a second. He leaned back into his car seat, and worried that maybe the whole thing was a hallucination. Maybe the man he had seen wasn’t crazy, maybe HE was crazy. Then he shook his head hard. That was ridiculous. He opened the app up again, and sent Lorelai the entire story as it had happened. She sent back a text to the effect of “wow” and then changed his nickname to something that probably had some sort of literary value. A reference he didn’t get. Then she asked if he wanted to hang out in order to take his mind off of it. They could walk around campus and he could bitch about the insane people that seemed to move in and out of his life. 

Even though Celestino wasn’t really supposed to be taking his grandmother’s car anywhere but work, he decided he would go meet Lorelai up downtown West Valence. He queued up some music, hit play, and backed out of the spot his car was parked. Ever since he took out the rear light, he had been more careful driving than ever. Nothing more could happen to this car. He had been fortunate in that Enzian had agreed to help him fix it very promptly and that his grandma had either not noticed or had had the decency to not bridge the topic with him. Either way, the effect was the same. At the very least his new car troubles weren’t actually troubling him. Except… for the fact he thought about them every single time he drove now. Not like compulsive and unbanishable thoughts were anything new. A new neurosis was not to be celebrated, even if it was his relative normal state. 

His internal dialogue raged on as he headed towards Coney Island. Either they would buy food there or they wouldn’t, but it was a convenient place to park regardless of their course of action. Lorelai probably would only want to get a soda, and since he didn’t want to have to pay for it, and he didn’t want to be the only one eating he would probably just insist they directly went to meandering campus. 

Finally he arrived. He parked his car, and pulled the keys out of his ignition. By this point, his phone was sufficiently charged and he felt comfortable that it would last the night. Lorelai would take another fifteen minutes at least to arrive in the lot. He used that time to copy and paste his text messages from his chat with Lorelai to his chat with Enzian. He was already asleep since he had to go to work early tomorrow and would respond in the morning. He decided he wouldn’t make the whole thing public to the group chat just yet. All the people currently online weren’t people he had any real relationship with, and the need to vent had already mostly been satisfied. Of course, he would bitch in person to Lorelai but for now no one else strictly NEEDED to know about the situation at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a like and let me know what you think! <3


	4. "Well, I would do it."

Lorelai pulled into the Coney Island’s parking lot about ten minutes after Celestino finished messing around on his phone. She pulled her shitty looking Grand Marquis into a spot, got out, checked and saw that she was overhanging one of the lines, readjusted, and then turned off the vehicle. Standard. She messed around with her phone for a second before tucking something into the dash of her car. No one was going to steal her ten dollar radio transmitter, but that didn’t stop her anxiety about it. She opened the door, took one last look at something inside the vehicle, downed the last of the energy drink she ALWAYS seemed to have, and tossed it back inside. She walked towards Celestino’s car, hers beeping three or four times as she pressed on the key fob. Lorelai tapped on Celestino’s windshield and said something. Celestino couldn’t hear her, so he finally got out of his car to join her in the balmy June night.

The air was slightly too hot for his comfort. Lorelai apparently didn’t feel that way, as she had her blue half peacoat on, hands casually in pockets. Or, at least they were until she pulled one out and chewed on it. “Hey,” she said, mouth around her left index finger. “So ya had a bad day?”

Celestino resisted the impulse to break into the Daniel Powter song from the early 2000’s. It wasn’t the time for light hearted jokes. Serious things were happening. He wanted to seem a little composed however, and returned the hey as he turned to face the empty WV street. He began walking wordlessly. Lorelai followed. They progressed towards the University campus somewhat briskly. People passed by them as they walked. The woman on the bicycle who had once stopped them to talk to Lorelai whizzed past, giving a slight wave of recognition. There was briefly a scary moment as the two of them passed a dude who was smoking something on the street while muttering something incoherent. Before he could entirely see the man, Celestino was scared it might have been the dude he had seen the other day. For some reason, Celestino could not bring himself to immediately relaunch into the whole story with Lorelai. He needed the relative privacy of the University’s abandoned campus before he could reveal the details he had been too lazy to type earlier. 

Finally, the two friends reached the campus and Celestino began to talk. He relayed the basic facts to her again, even though some of them were repetitive. He talked about how creepy the man’s voice was. How he seemed to fade into the trees instead of having to walk through them. He told her about how the man knew of Lorelai, and how he was able to kill his phone battery just by saying something about it out loud. He mentioned how the man had offered him a “world of adventure” or something to that effect. Celestino bitched about the pain in the back of his head, how he worried he now probably had a concussion. Lorelai offered her pain medication to him, as she did whenever someone was suffering. Celestino declined it. The pain was not bad enough to warrant medical intervention at that particular moment. 

With the story recounted in full, Lorelai said she would need a moment to think. At that moment, they passed the rock that sat next to the pond that marked the center of campus. Lorelai ALWAYS had to climb it. Even while she was thinking about something serious, evidently.

Celestino watched as Lorelai selected various footholds and climbed to the very top. She turned to look at the pond and exhaled sharply. “Isn’t it just lovely here?” Of course, she had asked him that before. Both of them had agreed that the University campus was very nice. Nicer than other campuses in the area. Especially the one Lorelai herself attended. “Celestino, come up and look.” She invited him up. 

“I’m good down here.” He stated. He passed his reluctance to climb off as not wanting to get his work pants covered in dirt. Really, though, space at the top of the rock was limited. There was a high likelihood of accidentally being touched by Lorelai, had he so desired to also climb the rock. “Next time,” he promised her. She climbed back down to the ground. 

“Remember that time that drunk lady confronted us inside of Coney Island’s?” She asked. “And I thought I knew her from somewhere, and started suggesting places I could have met her. And then you bitched me out for sharing all my personal information with a stranger?” 

“Yes.”

“And then she came and sat down next to us, and asked if we were dating.”

“Yeah I remember.”

“And then you said, ‘not yet’. And-”

“You have a long and specific memory for small statements.” Celestino cut in, sharply.

“Yeah and it doesn’t just apply to yourself don’t feel too flattered. I’m not done talking.” Lorelai glared at him for interrupting her. “And you know how she offered us her hand, and then offered us protection? And neither one of us took it. Well, it probably wasn’t anything supernatural. And the lady was probably everything that she looked but. You know? I really should have taken her up on that. I feel like it was the universe or something making some sort of offering. We should have accepted.”

“I mean, speak for yourself.” Celestino said. He hadn’t wanted to be touched by the mystery woman in the restaurant. Lorelai could have accepted if she had wanted to. But she didn’t. 

“Well you always talked about wanting someone to come and help you get out more. When me and Alice were tripping. That’s what you said, that you wanted a manic pixie dream girl.” Lorelai tone was getting more and more comic. She was laughing now. “And maybe some gross homeless dude isn’t your ideal fantasy girl to come save you from your mundane life. But. You should at least TRY right? I mean it sounds like.” And Lorelai was just dying of laughter at this point. “He had SOME sort of magic power. Maybe you could get some from him.” She had to sit down, she was laughing so hard. Celestino hadn’t really felt like laughing but it was getting contagious. He collapsed to the flagstone and started laughing along with her. 

“How fucking ridiculous is this?” Lorelai asked. “Like, either way it’s ridiculous. And think of the story. Either this dude does have magic powers, and then YOU get magic powers. Or he DOESN’T have magic powers, and then you have a story about humoring some crazy dude for the chat. People would just EAT it UP.” 

“Right.” Celestino hesitantly agreed with her.

“I mean,” Lorelai continued between giggles. “What’s the worst that could happen.” She stopped laughing and put on a somewhat somber face for Celestino. It was clear she was being ironic as she said, “He stabs you to death?” She shook her head.

Celestino didn’t have anything to say to that. He sat with her on the ground and thought for a second. If the man had wanted to cause him serious harm, then he could have just drained him like he drained Celestino’s phone battery. Or he could have assaulted him while Celestino sat concussed against the side of Apple Bee's. 

“Besides. If he DOES try to attack you. You’d finally have your opportunity to use your…” Lorelai paused. 

“Pepper spray!” They both said, Celestino with a lot more enthusiasm. Lorelai never seemed to have the same degree of appreciation for the substance. She had her own but never bothered to take it with her anywhere. 

“What did he say you had to do in order to get back into contact with him?” 

“He just said I had to have a desire to get back into contact with him. And he would meet me wherever.”

“Did he say you had to be alone?” Lorelai asked. Clearly, she wanted to get involved with some crazy mentally ill homeless man for whatever reason. Drive to be special? Celestino decided then he didn’t really want to share this with her. For whatever reason, it needed to be a private meeting with the man. Even though odds were it would be safer if Lorelai was there. Or if anyone was there for that matter. On further mental exploration, he realized he had a strong urge against any candidate he was thinking about bringing with him. 

“I have to be alone.” Celestino said, confidently. Lorelai pouted a little at this, but decided not to press him over it. “He did say I only had a week to pursue it. I imagine after that he won’t be around to offer whatever he was offering.”

“The stars are aligned.” 

“Evidently.”

“Well, Celestino.” Lorelai started. “When you start out on your ever so important adventure, please try to rope me along somehow. I really never want to do homework again.”

“I will keep you in mind.” Celestino laughed, but he was thinking heavily. Maybe Lorelai was right. Maybe there wouldn’t be any kind of harm in pursuing things with the weird man. He decided that tomorrow night, he would go out somewhere that was hard to see, but in screaming distance of help, and try to summon the guy. Fears and apprehensions he had were melting away as he considered the meme potentially and the possibility of gaining superpowers. Really, it was a win-win no matter what happened.

And with that, the topic had run its course. They proceeded to talk about the issues Lorelai had been dealing with at her new internship, and how she was being stressed out by various people she refused to evict from her life. The usual. And after that it moved on to Celestino’s family, and the dogs, and all the other topics that they normally bitched about. As they talked they walked further and further away from their cars, not noticing until they reached a shady gas station on the edge of town. Lorelai bought another energy drink, even though it was three in the morning. Celestino smiled. Typical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and a like!

**Author's Note:**

> Also. Taking writing prompts if anyone is interested!


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